Us women all love footwear, proper? All of us dream of Carrie Bradshaw’s walk-in wardrobe from Intercourse within the Metropolis? Fairly, sparkly, horny…?
By definition, a shoe is ‘a masking for the foot, sometimes fabricated from leather-based, having a sturdy sole and never reaching above the ankle’ (thanks Google!).
Effectively, I realised just lately that the one ‘footwear’ I personal are my free-dive fins and my path runners. Neither of those fall into the ‘horny shoe’ class and I discover myself not sure as as to whether I ought to be proud (in a “Screw you, you toe-strangling foot jails!” form of manner) or ashamed.
I did personal a pair of wedges years in the past. I purchased them in England, underneath full duress, for a good friend’s marriage ceremony. Apart from the compliments on my newly well-defined calf muscle tissue, introduced on by the necessity to stand on my tiptoes for 9 hours, I hated them (even earlier than I used to be an island lady).
These hideous foot weights travelled with me to all of my island properties (Seychelles, Mallorca and Mauritius) simply in case I felt the necessity to torture myself once more. They remained on the backside of my North Face backpack for all the period… till 2 months in the past, when I discovered them – unhappy and mouldy from the tropical island humidity. Regardless of this, I attempted them on and I can actually say that my toes seemed like two potato waffles. A lot to my horror, I realised my toes have turn into flat and large and, nicely… “islandy” (this ought to be an actual adjective).
So, for sure, I binned them and figured that – since virtually all of the trash will get dumped within the ocean right here in Mauritius (unhappy face), some turtle is completely rockin’ my gammy, rotten wedges proper now. I don’t miss them, and tropical island residing supplies me with the proper excuse to not need to put on others like them. Ever.
Having mentioned all that, I get somewhat jealous after I see different island women wanting rattling sizzling of their fairly footwear. I get foot envy usually. And people girls who put on heels to the seaside (sure, to the seaside!): what can I say? I salute you!
I also needs to level out that, while I’m now at zero within the Attractive Sneakers Division, I do love a stupendous gown, some cute sandals and sparkly jewelry, and I brush my hair and placed on a splash of blusher and mascara generally.
My ‘footwear’ won’t be horny however they’re helpful and I couldn’t go on my island adventures with out them. Mauritius is a good place – above and beneath water – and there may be a lot to find right here. My free-dive fins enable me to dive down as deep as I presumably can and my path runners enable me to climb as excessive because the mountains will take me. And all of this will occur in simply someday, so I carry each pairs of ‘footwear’ in my automobile. At all times.